Sorry

Sorry about my tantrum lol. I found out more information about the whole thing and I figured its the best for her to be in jail. Because it will maybe open her eyes so she'll get her shit together lol. :) But yeah.

It's Christmas eve!! Although my family and I are wiccan my little sister is not so we celebrate Christmas for her. Other then that we would celebrate Yule which is the 21st of Dec. :)

Nothing new with me. Same old shit. Just sleeping in and hanging out with friends. Still figuring out this whole new awakening process lol. But when I have something interesting to talk about ill get back on.

Friends :( WARNING LANGUAGE!!!!

So I just found out my best friend is in jail for something she didn't start. Karams a bitch and I hope her piece of shit, white trailer trash, slut ass, fucking fat cunt bitch, sister fucking dies. Shes a waste of human flesh. I hope she burns in hell with her fucking 40 mexican trash fuck buddies. I'm so fired up right now. It's not funny.

Her mom, sister, and niece and nephew, all sold my friend out to the cops. Its fucking bullshit. They'll have whats coming because Karams a bitch, you best believe that. I won't do anything nor anyone else will but their day will come. Humans are so heartless but thats all in the nature. These people are fucking crazy. She's going to come with me and we're going to go get her shit. Leave her mom feeling like shit. IDK everything will work out.

Love,
ErosRyder

Today, Today...

OMG...today was crazy. First school was ok. But the best part is I broke up with my boy friend for 2 months. OMG...I am free, so free. Well he was saying I was acting like a dick. When simple I was answering a question he asked. "Are you happy?" I said no he asked why? I told him why. Im not one to sugar code stuff I tell it how it is. He was saying alright. Like it was no big deal (this was last night). Well today I was feeling awkward so I asked if I could just talk to him tonight. IDK...somethings got out of hand he called me a DICK and I said "Don't talk to me for a week!" He was saying "Dont tell me what to do..." Umm no when you call me a dick for stating my opinion on a question you asked you don't call me a DICK. IDK...so I said. "OK. let me make it simple. Were done. Good Bye." idc.

But yeah I felt so drained today. But at the same time I feel like a heavy load has been lifted off my body. I feel amazing. Free, free, and free lol. But Im going to bed sorry about this post about my bitching!!

School Craving...

Im in school and I am sitting next to these fucking stupid ass imature kids. It’s annoying me but whatever. I  am having a craving really bad, I just want to find a donor so badly. I can’t wait till I’m 18. But yeah. Today is so boring.

I didn’t really enjoy my time with my BF yesterday it was quite boring and retartded. He thought that we were going to do stuff. Which suprisingly I didn’t do anything. I didn’t feel a need  to do anything. I am getting tired of how society is these days. Just one more period and Im done :) Can’t wait!!!

Sleep!!!

It's 5:40am I I just had some of the best sleep I've had in months. I fell asleep at 6:30-7pm last night and didn't wake up until just now. I feel nice, since I haven't been getting that much sleep.

Ungrounded

For the past 3 weeks Ive been grounded for skipping school, which I will never do again, and I am free so I am going out with my BF and hanging out since we didn't get to hang out of our two month. I can't wait.

He doesn't know that I am a vampyre and Im not planning on telling him for quite awhile. I don't feel that spiritual bound or energy between us, which means I don't feel that I could ever feed off him. Is this bad? Is it telling me that I shouldn't be with him? IDK...but I seriously don't think that I would ever get to that stage in our relationship where I feel okay to feed on him.

Another thing since my awakening I haven't been horney or feel sexually active at all. Is this normal? IDK... I hope everything comes out of the fog soon.

With my "At School" post I said that I couldn't control my hunger. Well in the period after I posted that I pricked my fingure and started bleeding just alittle. I could smell is all the way from waist lenghth. I could never smell blood before that moment. It didn't really make me crave it but I did want it a little bit.

Well I wish that my blog was more popular with questions and stuff that I could maybe answer to the best of my experiences and research but I guess Ill have to wait for it to get more popular. Lol well my bf should be here soon.

Peace&Love,
ErosRyder

At School

I am at school and can't control my craving. Im not feeling well and am very tired. But Im going to look at the brighter side of things. Its a shitty day outside and I am bored. It's now 10:30am and I have 41/2 hours of school...Im dreading every millisecond of this day.

I had a heart to heart conversation to my best friend and found out he still likes me. Im not going to let anything get in the way of our friendship. But the bell is going to ring ill be back on!!!

--ErosRyder

More About Me

This is more depth about me.

Well my vampyric/wiccan name is ErosRyder. I am 17 years old. I am a JR in High School. I was born in 1991 in Denver, co. I moved to Norewalk, ohio soon after. Then my dad was stationed arcoss seas in Germany. In 1996 my little sister was born. I lived there for three years until I was 6. Then I moved back to Ohio. I lived in Whitehall for a year and then moved to Pickerington. I call this my home town because Picktown is all I know.

I have one older sister and two older brothers. I love one of my older brothers but the rest of them can go F*CK them selves. I enjoy most things in life, especially the computer. I would like to be a web designer when I get out of high school. I try not to worry about the little things in life but I am unsuccessful. I love the rain but hate the snow.

If anyone was curious I am a vampyre, i am still trying to figure out what kind. I do for sure feed on physic energy but, seeing how I am only 17 I don't have a blood donor yet and I haven't yet fed on blood. I crave it but haven't experimented with it. So I do not label myself as any type of vampyre.

I am also wiccan. Which means I follow a god as well as a goddess. I believe there is no hell. Which also means I do not believe nor worship the devil/Satan/Lucifer/whatever I don't believe in the devil So how can I worship something I don't believe. I love good Humor and I think I am very humorous myself. I like very elegant things. I love England. I love to travel to places that are considered weird or occult like.

Anything else you cam email me at coldones.net33@yahoo.com

New Layout

Yes finally I got a new layout that doesn't look like crap. Comment on the new look!!! :) thanks

TrueBlood

The new series just finished the season up with a big cliffhanger. TrueBlood is the new HBO series bases off the best selling books "The souther vampire tribe" about a girl named Sookie Stackhouse falling in love with a vampire named Bill. Through the episodes you will find other very interesting storys following the characters.


It is my favorite show on HBO. Everything is fitional but the storyline is amazing. It has so many twist in it also. It truely is one of the best shows that HBO has came out with.

Today is...

Ok I am home with my dad and all his friends are going to come over. Im stuck in this damn house with all those losers. To top it all off there's this kid that might be coming and he is the biggest asshole ever. Im going up to my room all day. because he's going to end up taking all his friends down to his cool basement and show them around. IDK..but yeah. To top it all off I haven't fed in 2 days and I don't feel good AND im hungy :). But I did find this really cool site. http://urbanvamp.wordpress.com/ another vampyre having a blog about her life. It very interesting.

Dotors

9:10pm 12-11-08

Dear Everyone.

I went to the doctor. It was to see if I had A.D.D. He asked me if I ever had thoughts of killing people? I said no, but I have been having dreams of killing my friends and drinking their blood. I explained to him how I've been craving blood for the past month/month 1/2. Now that I went to a doctor for the physical aspects of this I also had a chance to talk to a doctor for the mental side of this.

Over this past month I realized so much. It's scary at the same time as normal. I would love to open a bar for vampyres. The purpose of the bar is to have a essential place to have vampyres meet. Have a haven for those ones starting out like me on this magnificent journey. I'm also going to be working on small project.

One think that I was researching is the myth of sun light. Sun light didn't start hurting vampires until "Nosferatu" came to the screen in the 1920'S. What I am wondering is how could sunlight weaken us when it was only brought to the big screen for the fitional film "Nosferatu".

I am always hungery. I think I going through a growth spurt again. I don't want to be fat!! lol Im am also thinking about only eating natural foods that haven't been chemically altered or processed. Well Im going nigh night.

Love,

Eros Ryder

Alex’s Philosophy of Energy

Energy is constantly changing. With how people put energy into the world these days no wonder everything is falling in on itself. Energy is changing in the sense of transferring energy from one side of the spectrum to the other side. Think of it as being two columns. One side is negative and the other side is positive energy. Energy is energy no matter how you look at it. Depending on how you make your situation you can persuade that energy to be in either column.
Energy also moves around with us, around us, and through us. It’s affected by choices and opinions of the universe.
Situation 1
Say you are just tired of the school day. You friend comes up to you and suggests that you skip with them.
You have two choices. First, you could just stay in school or you could skip. By skipping you would add negative energy to the situation. Which already has negativity to it. There is a possibility that a negative outcome could come out of it. Which actually make more negative energy to the situation because you are worrying about if you’re going to get caught or not. In conclusion to this situation you can create the reality of the energy of the consequences. Second, if you put negative energy into our multiverse the more negative energy you get back. Same if you were to put positive energy into our multiverse the more positive energy you get back. Kind of like the optimistic and karma emotions brought to the universal idea of energy.
Energy can also be masked. What may seem like negative energy can really be positive.
Situation 2
Say you get in trouble with the law and you go to jail/juvie.
You can look at this situation as an opportunity. You can look at it as something you can grow and learn from. Thus, taking all energy from the negative side of the columns and moving it to the positive side.
In conclusion, everyone can decide their own out come to every situation that they are faced with. Not in predicting the future but more as energy. You decide what ticks you off, you decide who you want to effect your life. You are in control of your life, because you control the energy out come of the situation that are presented to you.

ISS

4:00pm 12-10-08

Dear Everyone,

Since I write out all my post in my journal I can explain that I have no internet. :( Im upset. The computer is my haven. But I'm ok lol.

I got three hours of sleep and I had ISS (In School Suspension). I sat in a room all day. I was so far away from everyone because the teachers spaced everyone out. But there was a study group across the room and I joined them and fed off of them for my second time actually trying to feed. I felt overwhelmed at first but then I started feeling strong. Not in a fictional superhuman way. It's hard for me to explain.

Love,

ErosRyder

Nothing Interesting...

11:27pm 12-09-08

Dear Everyone,

Hey there's nothing really weird that happened today. Like it was smooth. I got in a fight with a girl that use to be my friend. But I just dismissed the negative energy she was stirring up and went on with my day.

I am trying to figure out if there is such thing as Wiccan and Vampyric practices such as Vampyric Wicca?

Its weird because yesterday I didn't feel the need to crave for blood. I'm not saying I need it. But I'm just craving it a little.

I am doing more and more research and finding more out about this whole new world. But some of it doesn't fit with me. I know not everything is going to be effecting m. Like the sun doesn't bother me at all.

I have a theory dealing with energy. I see it as everything is and gives off energy. If you give positive energy into a situation you get positive energy out of it. If you give negative energy into a situation you get negative out of it. No matter what it's never to fail. Even if that energy comes back as Karma.

Love,

ErosRyder

School Experience

4:30pm 12-08-08

Hello, I went to school and had a very interesting experience. Well first I was draining people, my friends. They had no idea, but I felt their energy transfer. It was strange but nice. A kid cut himself, on accident, and was bleeding a little. But I didn't really want blood. Like, I wanted it but didn't really crave it like at the blood drive. I couldn't really smell it either. So I'm considering that I might be just a Psi Vampyre.

I would like to start up a online vampyre community. Like a myspace just for vampyres.

I wasn't feeding just from one person. I was feeding from a group of friends. Ill write later tonight.

Love,

ErosRyder

Awakening

Since I write everything down before I submit it online the next couple post are from last week. Enjoy

1:00 12-08-08

Dear Everyone,

Through my journey so far I realized that I might be a hybrid. I'm not convincing myself anything. I only realized this because of the way I fed off my cousin. I actually felt her energy being absorbed into me. This whole experience is really overwhelming. But I do have a support system. I found out that an online support system is the best. I haven't found a community near by.

I cam out to my friend. He was I think my jealous then supporting. I don't even know why he would be like that.

The way that I think that I feed is through peoples emotion. Ever since I can remember I ould channel peoples emotions and manipulate their emotion energy. But over the past month I been craving blood. It doesn't mean that I'm a vampyre, but I had a experience with my spiritual guides. they helped me realize some stuff about myself.

I Haven't fed from blood to tell you the truth. I'm a little scared to try it. Only because I don't want to get sick on to much.

Researching everything I believe that I'm going through a "Awakening". I have school in a couple hours I'm going to bed.

Love,

ErosRyder